It can be HARD to get rid of things we own, especially if they have some sentimental value.
There can come a time when we realize that our home is being taken over by stuff to the point where it's becoming difficult to find things, difficult to clean, difficult to have people we love visit, or just more difficult to relax in because the clutter is taking over our mental space as well as our physical space.
And we realize that in order to get organized and reclaim our space, we need to minimize.
But it's important to remember that minimizing can be emotionally and mentally draining for a lot of people. It can be better to slow this process down instead of pushing people to finish more quickly.
That means showing yourself some kindness if you’re the person who needs to slow down!
If regret for donating or throwing away things builds up, it can just make the whole process more painful and more difficult than it needs to be. Sometimes it stops the whole process because it gets too uncomfortable or overwhelming.
So, although it’s good to remember that organizing is much easier if you have fewer things to find a place for, it is also important to remember that the sorting and minimizing of someone’s personal possessions requires patience and compassion from both themselves and from the people working with them through the process.
These feelings of discomfort or getting overwhelmed might be a reaction to the sheer amount of things to be sorted through. But, it might come from another emotion, like grief at having to go through the belongings of a loved one who has passed away. If someone is struggling to minimize, it means they need some extra support, encouragement, and accountability to do the hard work of sorting through their things. You can reach out for that support for yourself and others.
It's vital to avoid packing everything away without sorting or minimizing, though. You don't want PATIENCE to become PROCRASTINATION. Putting all the things in storage seems like a great way to deal with the problem of TOO MUCH STUFF; and the pile can look organized in its boxes and stacks. But it’s much easier to avoid going through a pile of things that seems to be organized, especially if you have a busy or over-committed schedule. And things can easily become damaged when they're ignored over time.
I remember a couple, Dustin and Sandy, who had both his mother and her father pass away within a month of each other. They were left with two homes filled with things their respective parents had collected over their lifetimes. But Dustin’s mother had lived in a two-story rented house for the last 20 years of her life; and they were given just 10 days to remove everything. Sandy’s father had saved everything that had ever entered his front door…a true hoarder. Even after the estate sales were done, an overwhelming number of personal items still needed to be dealt with.
Between the two parents, Dustin and Sandy were left with enough things to fill their two-car garage, a garden shed, and a 10’x15’ storage unit. They stacked everything into them and shut the doors. Then, they hardly touched them again for the next six years…except to add to the piles of things with their own items.
It was just too easy to ignore the seemingly organized piles they kept hidden behind those locked doors.
They avoided dealing with the situation until they were faced with moving everything into a new home. Unfortunately, because they had waited so long to go through the piles, they now had other things to deal with as well.
Some items that had been improperly boxed were full of pests like fire ants and spiders. The filing cabinets that were crammed with all sorts of legal documents had been eaten through by mice which had also left behind plenty of droppings that had soaked into the documents. Furniture and clothes were destroyed. Collectables were chipped and broken. Tools were solid with rust.
The couple grieved over the loss of many things that had to be thrown away as we worked together to sort through everything. This extra grief could have been avoided if they had decided to minimize everything first; then follow up with effective organization and storage practices. But they allowed everything in their lives to become more important than addressing the piles of stuff they had closed their minds to.
We can see this in our everyday lives on a smaller scale. A stack of random things on a table, a pile of shoes in the entry way, and the extra apps we download but never use. This stuff becomes easy to ignore after a while. Frequently, we never fix the situation until we are forced to open our eyes to it by a shift in another area of our lives. Then, we become aware of how much stuff has actually accumulated in our space.
It’s the best-case scenario if everyone responsible can take ownership of the clutter and work together towards the common goal of minimizing and then organizing the space.
It can be a huge help to find out what motivates everyone and create rewards at the end for each person. Maybe the money made from selling extra items can be divided between everyone or a special, personal, space can be created for each person who clears out their piles of unused stuff.
It can also be rewarding to donate clothes that are in good condition to a women’s or children’s shelter in person. This way, especially young people, see how their extras can be someone else’s necessities. The feel-good feelings that come from having a positive effect in another person’s life are irreplaceable.
Once the process of minimizing an area has been completed, then you can begin to clean, organize, and decorate the space to be the way you want it to be. Organizing is usually much less difficult emotionally and mentally. And, in fact, many people enjoy this part of the process. Some people like to organize as they minimize, and others will simply sort everything into loose boxes or piles and organize it all after the extra things have been removed.
The "right" way to do it, is whatever way serves you best. And if you think you need support from professional organizers, movers, or cleaners...give someone a call! Everyone needs a helping hand now and then.
HAPPY DONATION HUNTING!
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